Jaded Eyes
by CC Novak
Summary: After an extreme loss of blood from a suicide attempt leaves C.C. in a coma. Everyone around her is trying to get her to wake up, but as she is in the unwakeable slumber, she has to choose to either let go, or return to the world.
1. Evil Angel

**Prologue**

_Put me to sleep evil angel_

_Open your wings evil angel_

_Fly over me evil angel_

_Why can't I breathe evil angel_

"No. No. NO!" C.C. Babcock screamed as she lay on the bathroom floor of her penthouse apartment. She was clutching her head as she tried to make the voices stop. She just couldn't make them go away, no matter what happened. She was so alone and it was all her fault. Everyone hated her, she was sure they all wanted her dead, especially that goddamn butler, Niles. The very thought of him made her sick. Another thing that made her sick was that Nanny. Oh how she hated her.

She clutched her head harder, her fingernails were digging in her scalp so much that it was hurting her, but it was what she deserved. She wanted to hurt, it wasn't something new. Through her tears, she saw the broken shards of glass that were scattered on the floor. When she'd saw her reflection, she'd broken her mirror into a million pieces, as a result, her hand was bleeding, not severely, but it was just another thing she didn't care about.

She couldn't even remember what had brought this on, all she knew was that she was hurting and she wanted to hurt more, like a psycho who had been given a knife to run around with. It was all just unreal, how one minute she had been happy, now she was this, a nobody, lying on the cold floor.

Her clothes were even a victim of her psychopathy, they were half torn off, her shirt was torn open and her skirt was ripped at the bottom, she really was losing her mind. She sat up slowly and leaned against the wall. She sniffed and grabbed a large shard and looked at herself once more.

"One last thing to do." She held out her wrist and with a quick move, she sliced it open and screamed at the pain. She fell to her side, blood was pooling at her wound. Her vision was growing blurry and her breath was growing short. She could feel herself growing weaker with each second. Just before she lost consciousness, she thought she heard the sound of the front door opening, but she knew it was just a figment of her imagination. She also thought she heard the sound of someone calling her name, but no one was coming to help her, no one ever wanted to save the lost.

* * *

**Originally posted this earlier, but I wanted to add a little more to it. I am going to tell you right now by the way, that all of the chapters will be named after songs by Breaking Benjamin. And just warning you, I have been emo all week, and I am still hanging onto it, so this is going to be really freaking sad. And hopefully this abou will be the last time I will post this XD, sorry I kept deleting it, I was worried at first about how people would react, so here, I'm going to leave it up this time. I already have like two chapters written after this one.**

**Ashton**


	2. Into The Nothing

**A/N: For now and later chapters:  
Regular Type: What's going on in the world of the living  
Italics: Memories (Not only C.C., everyone)  
Bold Italics: C.C.'s inner voice talking to her (sounds dumb, but it'll come back to play)

* * *

**

_I'll keep you inside_

_Where I need you_

_You cannot follow_

_Straight into the light_

_As my breath grows still and shallow_

The heart rate monitor beeped in room 1408 of the metropolitan hospital. The room was filled with four people, Maxwell Sheffield, who was pacing the room, running his hands over his face, Fran Fine, who was sitting in the recliner with a handkerchief in her hand, dabbing away the tears from her face, and Niles Brightmore, who had pulled a chair up close to her bedside and was holding C.C.'s hand, rubbing his thumb slowly over her pale hand.

"Why would she do something like this?" Maxwell asked as he swallowed a lump in his throat.

"I don't know Mista Sheffield." Fran replied as she wiped more tears away. She never had really gotten along with C.C. that well, but she never wanted something like this to happen to her.

Niles didn't say anything, he just sat there still, rubbing his thumb over her hand. She was so cold, he'd gotten sick at the sight of seeing her on the white tile, with blood gushing from her body, he'd been the one to come in through the front door, he was the one who had yelled her name. Another thing he had done was hold her in his arms, pressing hard down on the gash after he'd called the paramedics. He wasn't going to lose his one-up partner, for anything. A tear slid down his face as he thought of a reason she would have done this to herself, he knew he'd been a factor in all of this.

"Where are you Miss Babcock? Please come back to us." He whispered...

"_Dana, we're gonna get caught!" Seven year old C.C. whispered as she and h_

* * *

er twelve year old sister crept as quietly as they could downstairs. The Babcock mansion may have been huge, but Bobo, they're nanny, had ears like a jack rabbit.

"_Oh shut up you wimp. If you don't want to get caught, go back upstairs and hold tight your stupid teddy bear." D.D. said snidely. She hated her little sister more than anything else in this world. She was so annoying and clingy, as well as the one who got all the attention._

"_Oliver is not stupid!" She said in the defense of her sleeping companion. _

"_Who cares? Keep quiet!" She hissed as she turned and gave C.C. the meanest look she possibly could. C.C.'s eyes grew wide, her sister could be rather terrifying at times._

"_You're scary." She said as they finally made it to the bottom, which is where a small ballroom was._

"_So is life, now come on midget, kitchen's just in there." D.D. pointed at a door that, even though it was dark, they knew was white. They both were thankful that it swung open and never made a sound._

_As soon as they got into the kitchen, they both walked right to the refrigerator to grab something to eat. To normal children, this was nothing to be afraid of, but in their house, it was like committing thievery. They shouldn't have been going to get something to eat, but D.D. had insisted and C.C. had heard her sister walk past her room so obviously she had to go see why._

"_What's the reason we had to come down here again?" C.C. asked as D.D. opened the refrigerator and grabbed the gallon milk jug._

"_Because Aunt Flow, came to town." She replied as she shut the door quietly. She walked over to the island and set it down on the counter top. She went to the sink where she pulled a cup out of the strainer. She rolled her eyes when she saw C.C. trying to get up on the stool. She was so short, she had to be, at most, 4'7, too short for her age. When D.D. had been that old, she'd already been 5'2._

_Putting the glass down on the counter, she hoisted her baby sister up onto the stool and sat down next to her, pouring herself a glass. C.C. looked at it thirstily, but didn't say a word, she watched as her sister grabbed a few cookies from the cookie jar and began to munch away on them happily._

"_Who's Aunt Flow?" She asked innocently. _

"_Ugh, you'll find out when you're older." She replied as she dunked a cookie in the milk before she bit into it._

"_Ok. D.D.? C-can I have some to?" She asked nervously._

"_Have some what?" D.D. asked._

"_Milk, I'm thirsty too." C.C. replied innocently._

_She sighed. "Here." She slid the glass over to her and C.C. took a big swallow._

"_Thank you." She said as she gave the glass back._

"_Whatever." D.D. poured more milk into the glass and grabbed another cookie._

"_What are we going to do if we get caught?" C.C. asked after a few minutes of silence._

"_There is no we, if we do get caught, I'm blaming it all on you." She replied._

"_Why?" Her voice must have raised an octave._

"_Sh-h!" She said as she covered her mouth. "I was only kidding. God you are so damn annoying." She said as she slid off the stool and grabbed the milk. _

"_You said a bad word!" C.C. scolded. "We don't do that in this house!"_

"_Oh shut up you twerp. Haven't you heard mom and dad when they're going at it? They yell and scream and cuss at one another."_

"_No they don't!" C.C. shouted and that was all it took. The door to the kitchen flung open and the light came on. Making both of the girls jump, C.C. screamed, while D.D. just placed a hand on her forehead._

"_Wait to go you little brat." She muttered. There stood Nanny Bobo, with her dark brown hair pulled back into a messy bun and her pajamas._

"_What are you two doing up?" She asked._

"_C.C. was hungry, I told her we shouldn't be down here, but she wouldn't listen. She told me she would hurt me if I told on her!" D.D. lied, but she made it sound realistic. C.C. looked at her again with wide eyes._

"_Chastity Claire!" Nanny Bobo said with shock in her voice._

"_But...but-" She couldn't think of an excuse. D.D. had won again, and she couldn't do anything. She wasn't smart enough yet to think up anything._

"_Dana, please go up to your room and let me talk to Chastity alone. Leave the milk out please." D.D. nodded and set the milk down on the counter again before scurrying out of the kitchen. _

"_I didn't do it Nanny Bobo!" C.C. cried._

"_I know you didn't my sweet." She poured milk into the glass and handed it to C.C. before she sat down on the stool that D.D. had once occupied. _

"_Then why did you get onto me?" She asked as she sipped the liquid. She hadn't realized how thirsty she really had been._

"_To make your sister think I was mad at you, but just between you and me, I like you the best." She said as she nudged her. C.C. giggled._

"_Why is that?"_

"_Well, you're a very sweet little girl, you are kind and caring, always willing to help out around the house, even when you know you'll get in trouble. You're also the cutest out of the three of you. Turn around." C.C. turned around in the chair, she knew what was going to happen next. She felt her nanny's fingers combing out her mid-back length hair. She felt the tight but gently tug of the nanny's hands as she braided her hair, she always did that for her when she was sad. She then felt the rubbed band hold her hair tightly in place._

"_Thank you." She said as she turned back around and hugged her._

"_You're very welcome my dear, promise me you won't cut your hair, it's not everyday that someone has this beautiful blonde hair that you have as well as the length, it fits you." She said as she wrapped her arms around her. _

"_I won't." She replied. Nanny Bobo stroked her hair gently, she always prayed that this one wouldn't turn out like her brother and sister, who were honestly the brattiest children she'd ever taken care of. She saw something different in this little one, she was just perfect. At night, she prayed for hours on end for her to stay the way she was and to never change. She had high hopes for the littlest one who was hugging her tightly, but she was afraid that she would transform like the rest of the family did, to hate and despise those who were deemed unworthy just because they weren't rich. It made her eyes watery just thinking of it. She sighed before kissing C.C.'s head and letting her go._

"_Now, off to bed with you." She said as she helped her down from the stool and patted her back. C.C. rushed off as quietly as she could, leaving Nanny Bobo alone to clean up after the sisters._

* * *

"Visiting hours are over." Nurse Janet said as she stuck her head in the door. She saw them all look up at her and she felt sorry for them all. She never had never before seen so many people so upset over one person, three children had also come to see her, the youngest one, which was a girl, had cried when she saw Miss Babcock lying in the bed. In all of her years as a nurse, she'd never seen an attempted suicide victim be put in a coma, loss of blood would cause you to pass out for a long period time yes, but not this long, it had been two days all ready.

"I'll stay with her sir." Niles said without even looking at Maxwell. Maxwell looked at him with worry, Niles had been here for the entire time that C.C. had been in the hospital bed, even before that.

"Are you sure old man? You looked like you haven't slept in days." He said as he placed his hand on his shoulder. Niles had dark rings under his eyes, he really hadn't been sleeping, but he didn't show it, all he did was just sit their and watch her, hoping she would open her eyes and insult him.

"Yes sir. Good night sir, Miss Fine." Maxwell squeezed his shoulder before wrapping his arm around Fran's waist and they both left, leaving Niles and C.C. alone. "Please C.C., be ok." He got up and kissed her forehead before he sat down and held her hand again, repeating what he'd been doing the entire time. She just lay there though, without movement and the only sign of life, being the constant beeping of the heart rate monitor, beep beep beep.

* * *

**The whole beepbeepbeep thing was meant to give you the chills a little, I'm sure it doesn't, but if you've lived the life I'd had, you would be excited to hear that noise...**


	3. Give Me A Sign

_Daylight dies_

_Blackout the sky_

_Does anyone care_

_Is anybody there_

_Take this life_

_Empty inside_

_I'm already dead_

_I'll rise to fall again_

C.C. still lay trapped in her flashback state, but she could hear everyone talking to her, she now wanted to wake up and tell them things, she'd even felt when Niles had kissed her forehead, but no telling how long ago that had been. She knew that she hadn't moved an inch, but she knew she wasn't dying because there was no white light, just darkness, until of course another memory popped into her mind...

* * *

_C.C. was locked in her closet, they were fighting again, it was now worse than ever before. She was crying uncontrollably and she had her hands covering her ears so hard that her hands were beginning to hurt. She hated when they fought, in all her twelve years, she had never seen them get this bad. She was so scared. When her father would walk out and leave them for days at a time, her mother would take out her anger and rage on her. C.C. had whelp marks on her back and bruises on her face sometimes, but no one seemed to care, the only person that did care was Nanny Bobo, but she had gone to France to visit her family and wouldn't be back for another week._

_She got tense when she heard the front door slam, she knew what was coming next. She dug her nails on the sides of her head and then she heard the horrible sound of her mother screaming her name._

_"CHASTITY CLAIRE! COME HERE NOW!" B.B. stood at the bottom of the stairs and waited on her to come, she always did. In reality, she loved her daughter more than anything in the world, but when she was under the influence of alcohol, like she was now, she became a hateful and cruel woman._

_C.C. hesitantly reached for the door knob, but she knew her mother would just come and find her, that was scarier than anything. She got up slowly and hurried downstairs, to find her mother taking a long swig of whiskey and she looked terrifying, like something out of Stephen King's mind._

_"Yes ma'am?" She quietly asked._

_"Get down here. **Now**." B.B. said as she pointed to the floor in front of her. She walked slowly down the stairs, when she was just within reach, her mother backhanded her so hard that she bounced off the wall before landing on the stairs. When she hit the stair, she landed on her right arm, there was a small cracking sound and she screamed in agony. Her head slammed on the the banister and the vision in her right eye grew dark for a moment before returning. B.B. raised her hand to strike her again, but C.C. held up her left hand._

_"Mommy! Please stop!" She cried. B.B. froze in place. She furrowed her eyebrows and saw what she had done to her. She saw that blood was trickling down her cheek from hitting her head, and her arm was starting to swell up._

_"Oh my God." She gasped as she covered her mouth and her eyes filled with tears. She held out her hand to touch C.C., and when she turned her head quickly away, B.B. truly was heartbroken._

_"I am so sorry baby." She said as she helped C.C. to her feet slowly._

_Normally C.C. would reply, but this time, she just averted her eyes and let her mother lead her outside. This was going to be difficult to explain to the doctor, but she would just make up a lie to keep her mother from going to jail, which now she was thinking that it would be for the best, she was growing to despise the woman, she knew that the reason her eye had went black for a moment was because she was going to go blind in that eye sooner or later, either that or she would end up with glasses._

_She clutched her arm tightly as they both walked to the limo. The chauffeur looked at C.C. momentarily with sad eyes, then he grew a little frightened. The normal cheerfulness in her eyes was now gone, and they were glazed over with anger. He opened the door for them both quickly and rushed them to the hospital. He knew he should turn in Mrs. Babcock, but there was nothing he could do. His hands were tied, no one would believe a lowly domestic anyway._

* * *

"Miss Babcock?" Gracie whispered as she held C.C.'s hand. "I wish you would wake up, I need someone to teach me how to read plays." She smiled at her own joke. C.C. had promised to teach her how to find little flaws in plays that most people, even the writer, never caught. Gracie would watch as she sat at her father's desk for hours, with that little red marker type pen of hers and just scribble away. Once, she'd snuck in after she'd left and picked up the play. In her handwriting, it read 'A definate Tony winner.' Her father of course didn't listen and it was passed on. She'd never forget how mad C.C. was, and she got to see it...

_"Ugh! Maxwell I swear to God sometimes I wish I could just wring your British neck!" C.C. shouted to no one. She thought the house was vacant, save for Niles, who was off somewhere doing something that she didn't care about. Gracie was out on the terrace, where she wouldn't be seen. She watched as the blonde business partner paced back and forth with her finger on her chin. This was actually kind of entertaining, seeing as C.C. kept muttering things in three different languages, which she all knew were swear words, she just wasn't sure which ones. She giggled out loud when C.C. kicked the desk and then started hopping around in discomfort. C.C. stopped in her tracks and slowly turned her head, where she saw the shadow of someone.__  
"Okay." She replied._This was the exact same way she looked now. She was out cold, just like before.

_Gracie covered her mouth quickly and she could see that C.C. was looking in her general direction, but she didn't see her thankfully. C.C. turned her back to her and walked out of the office. With a sigh of relief, she placed a hand over her chest, and just when she thought she was safe, she heard the sound of a high heeled boot being tapped slowly behind her. She turned around slowly and looked up, she was staring right at none other than Miss Babcock._

_"Um...hi?" She squeaked. C.C. had her eyebrow raised and her arms were folded across her chest._

_"Little girl, why are you out here? Are you like that damn butler who spies on everything?" She asked._

_"N-no ma'am, I was just-" She was cut off by C.C. raising her hand._

_"Here, I'll let you pay me back. Come and help me with some of these other scripts and all will be forgiven." She pointed behind her with her thumb and Gracie nodded._

_"You are...Gracie? Correct?" C.C. asked as they walked inside together._

_"Yes ma'am." She said with shock. She had no idea she remembered her name...or even knew it for that matter._

_Just as C.C. was about to say something, the door to the living room flew open and the door crashed onto her face. There was a loud bang when it hit her and an even bigger bang when C.C. hit the floor. Gracie tuned out the sound of her dad and Fran arguing, instead she worried about C.C., who was lying on the floor with her eyes closed and looked like she was dead..._

"You have to wake up so I can tell you something." Gracie sniffed. She placed a kiss on her cheek before she walked out. It had been an entire week now that she had been in her coma. The doctor said there was major brain activity, not in a bad way, but he said that something was going on inside of her head and none of them were sure what it was, except C.C. of course.

_**"Wake up Chastity! !" C.C. screamed inside her mind, but nothing happened. She tried to make her arm move, but again, nothing happened. C.C. screamed but there was no sound coming from her mouth. This was a nightmare, one you couldn't wake up from...**_


	4. Without You

**This might actually be one of the saddest chapters, but I won't tell you why, you'll just have to wait and see. I'll let the lyrics speak for themselves.

* * *

**

_Search for the answers  
I knew all along  
I lost myself  
We all fall down  
Never the wiser of what I've become  
Alone I stand  
A broken mess_

Brighton was now sitting in the room with C.C., he wasn't holding her hand like the rest, he was just staring at her like he was trying to send his thoughts to her. His own memories filled his mind and he smiled at the thought that had just crossed his path...

_Brighton was five and already he had a crush on a girl. He didn't know what that feeling was exactly, but he knew that every time he saw her, his heart skipped a beat. She had long brown hair and wore glasses that showed off her blue eyes. He peeked around the corner and saw her writing down something in the living room. His mother, Sara, was no where in sight, so he thought this was the best time to move in on her._

"_Miss Babcock?" He asked with his high pitched voice. She looked up at him and smiled._

"_Hey there B! How are you?" She asked as she looked up at him for a moment._

"_I'm good. What are you doing?" He asked as he hopped up on the couch next to her._

"_Going over some of the things your dad wanted me to look at for him. I'm happy to say that within in the next few days I'll become his business partner, I've finally gotten my trust fund from my parents and I can do what I please with it, so I'm going to invest in one of his plays." She smiled down at him. Another skipped beat._

"_Cool. Miss Babcock, can I take a nap?" He asked. She furrowed her eyebrows at him._

"_You can do whatever you want as far as I'm concerned." She said._

"_Ok!" He laid down quickly on his back and placed his head in C.C.'s lap. She held up the paper she was looking at and looked down at him. He already had his eyes closed and looked like he was drifting off to sleep. She rolled her eyes and smiled before she propped her elbows lightly on his chest and started reading the paper again "Score!" Brighton thought._

"We sure had a good time didn't we Miss B? I think that was the only time you remembered my name, and hey, I'm glad you're a blonde again." He admitted. He shook his head as he looked at her. He furrowed his eyebrows when he thought he saw her eye twitch, but he knew that was impossible. He looked over at Niles, who was sleeping on the sofa type thing and he felt bad for him. Out of them all, he was taking it the worst. He never left her side for a single minute, he would sleep for maybe two hours each day and be awake again, hoping for any sign of movement.

"_**DAMMIT! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! THESE PEOPLE NEED YOU A LOT MORE THAN YOU THINK! !" C.C. shouted. She tried to move her leg but nothing happened, yet again. She did though however feel her eye twitch, which was a good sign, so maybe, just maybe she would be out of this before too long...

* * *

**_

"_The stars sure are beautiful tonight." C.C. said as she looked up at the stars._

"_Not as beautiful as you." Keith Thomas, Senior, star quarterback of the high school they both attended football team. C.C. turned her head and smiled at him. They were lying by the lakeside that Keith's family owned that was out in the country. She loved the smell of fresh air, it was rare for her to get to do this. "C.C., I love you." He said. _

"_You...you what?" She asked._

"_I love you." He repeated as he smiled at her. He then hovered over her and he gently pressed his lips to hers, something she had dreamed about forever. When he pulled away, he ran his fingers through her dyed brown hair, she'd decided to be rebellious for once._

"_I-I love you to." She smiled. He returned the smile before he leaned down and kissed her again. She felt his hands move down the curve of her body, up to her breasts, where he squeezed one. Even though she had on a shirt and jacket, it still felt weird. "Stop." She whispered against his lips, but he didn't stop, so she repeated herself, only louder this time. "Stop!" She said, pulling away completely this time. She was pressing her head hard into the dirt. He started kissing down her neck and he felt his hands lift up her skirt and she gasped in shock when she felt his finger slide inside her. "Stop!" She shrieked, but he didn't. With one hand, he slid her panties down and then unzipped his pants. With his other hand, he had it clasped over her mouth._

_"Shut up and enjoy it." He said and her eyes grew wide._

"_Please God! NO!" She screamed against his hand, then it happened. She felt him enter her, taking away her innocence and it hurt like nothing she had ever felt before. She screamed so loud that it echoed, but no one was there to listen, no one there to help her. She clutched at the ground and tried to kick out at him, but she was stuck. When he had reached his climax, he slid out of her and did up up his pants. Tears were slipping down her cheeks, she was still in pain and she knew blood was more than likely on her skirt. She knew that she had just been raped and her innocence had been taken from her._

"_Well C.C., I think you will learn in time. Let's go home." He said as he stood and began to walk toward his truck._

"_You fucker!" She yelled while she was still on the ground. He turned and looked down at her._

"_What did you just call me?" He asked._

"_You heard me!" She yelled. She pulled her panties back up before she stood on wobbly legs._

_He rushed at her and nearly tackled her, but she was quick and moved out of his way. Even though she was hurting, she began to run through the woods, trying to escape him. She heard him behind her so she ran faster. Branches were cutting her face and getting caught in her hair, but that didn't stop her, she was going to get out of there. When she reached the paved road, she looked both ways and then behind her, but she saw he was no where to be seen, hell, she didn't even know where she was!_

_She fell to her knees and placed her hands over her face. She sobbed and sobbed until her face was raw. A reflection made her look up and she saw that a car was coming her way. She stood up and started to wave at them._

"_Help!" She yelled. The car pulled over and when she went to get in the car, she saw that it was none other than her cousin G.G., who was on her way into the city._

"_Chas? What the hell are you doing way out here?" G.G. was C.C.'s almost identical twin, her hair was still the Babcock blonde though and her eyes were a silvery green shade._

"_T-Take me home. P-Please." She stuttered. She wrapped her arms around herself and G.G. looked at her questioningly, but decided now was not the best time to ask. She then started off toward the city, she had been invited to spend the weekend with her cousin. Her aunt B.B. had thought C.C. was spending too much time alone._

_When they got home, C.C. wobbled into the bathroom, stripped out of her clothes and turned on the shower. She let the water run down her body, she washed the dried blood from her face and scrubbed as hard as she could, but no matter what, she still felt unclean. _

_G.G. brought in her a pair of pajamas and watched the outline of her cousin scrubbing herself hard, she wanted to tell her to stop, but she knew something had happened in those woods and as soon as she got out, she knew she would have to ask._

_When C.C. came in her room, she saw that G.G. was all ready lying on her usual side that she slept on when she stayed over. The right. She had her nose in a book and she looked up when she saw C.C. come in. Her eyes grew wide at how red she was._

"_Good God girl, what did you do?" She asked._

"_I just wanted to get clean, th-that's all." She replied. G.G. noticed that C.C. was walking strangely, she normally carried herself with pride, but it was different now. When she laid down next to her, she turned over on her side with her back to her. G.G. placed the book on the nightstand and smiled sinisterly at her cousin's back._

"_I'm gonna getcha, I'm gonna eatcha." She said with a creepy voice as she wiggled her fingers in the air. Even though she was seventeen, she enjoyed making her cousin freak out, it was sheer entertainment for them both. G.G. had C.C. beat in age by a year and four days, and ever since they were little, she would always do this to get her to life. She repeated this sentence and when she wiggled her fingers on C.C.'s side, she began to shake. "Chas?" She placed her hand on her curve and she winced. She rolled her over slowly and saw tears were sliding down her face. "Baby what happened out in those woods?" She asked as she wiped a few of the tears away gently._

"_He-He-He...raped me." She whispered the last part and G.G.'s eyes grew wide._

"_Oh my God..." She let her voice trail off. She raised her up a little before she wrapped her arms around C.C. and held her close. She rubbed her arm gently and let C.C. cry into her chest. She was going to get that motherfucker herself and kill him if she had to. No one crossed their family, especially when the youngest was concerned. They both found out the next day that Keith had never made it home, his truck had swerved off the road and crashed into a tree, he was ejected from the car and killed instantly. Both of them couldn't help but feel happy, but C.C. still felt unclean, and no man would ever want someone like her, something that was broken..._


	5. Until The End

_Why give up_

_Why give in_

_It's not enough_

_It never is_

_But I will go on until the end_

"_Miss Chastity? Are you all right?" Tucker, one of the butlers, asked._

"_I'm fine!" C.C. called from the bathroom, when in truth, she wasn't. She'd been puking her guts out for days. She knew there was a virus going around at school, damn her luck she had to catch it. After she threw up one more time, she wiped her mouth off with the back of her hand. When she stood, her knees shook and her stomach hurt like hell. Ugh this was horrible. She clutched her stomach as she walked out of the bathroom and walked back to her bedroom._

_She flopped down on her bed and pulled the covers around her body tightly. This had all been happening for at least a week now, she wished this feeling would just go the hell away._

"_Hey midge, may I come in?" D.D. asked as she cracked the door open. She saw that her sister was wrapped up and she couldn't help but sigh. "Midge, what's the matter?" She asked as she came in the room and sat down on the end of her bed._

"_I'm dehydrating, I can't stop throwing up, I've got a horrible headache, and my mood keeps changing every few minutes." She replied without taking the covers off her head._

_D.D.'s eyes grew wide. Being in medical school had paid off big time, she feared the worst, but this was C.C. after all, she was the good one, or so she seemed like she was._

"_Chas, have you gotten your period?" She asked as she put a hand on her back._

"_...No, why?" _

"_C, I won't be angry and you can confide in me, have you had sex recently?" She asked. It was now time for C.C.'s eyes to grow wide, she had tried so hard to forget about that night that Keith had taken her, but it never went away, then she remembered, when he came, he didn't pull out._

"_Dana, I-I...I was..." She stuttered as she tried to find the words._

"_Chastity, please tell me." She replied._

"_Rape." Was all she could get out. She heard her sister gasp and then she pulled the covers off her._

_"You were? By whom?" She half shouted._

"_K-Keith. He's dead now." C.C. stuttered._

"_Oh...he better be glad he is, or I'd have him killed right now!" D.D. said and she heard C.C. laugh a little._

"_You would." She replied quietly. D.D. ran her fingers through her blonde hair, she was glad that the dark brown was gone, it just didn't fit her little sister. She had once hated her guts, now she felt sorry for her, and she hadn't done anything to deserve this._

"_C, what do you want to do, if you are pregnant?" She asked. _

"_...I'll keep it." She replied quietly._

"_It's not a bad thing to have an abortion, rape is like carrying a bad seed in you-" C.C. raised her hand._

_"I don't care, it's still a human being and it will be mine. I know it will be a little inconvenient, but I am **not **going to blame this baby for something it didn't do!" There was a mood swing. Sad to mad. It was definate, she was pregnant. D.D. sighed as she started to rub C.C.'s back. She yanked the covers back over her head and drifted off to sleep, trying to forget what was going to happen, maybe if she went into a deep sleep, this would all have just been a horrible nightmare._

Stuart Babcock paced back and forth in the hospital room. He couldn't sit still, it was impossible. The very thought that she had tried to kill herself was just too much for him. His ex wife sat there by her bed, where everyone else had before her. She told Niles that he should go get something to eat, and said that if she were to ever move or just open her eyes for a split second, she herself would run down to the cafeteria to get him.

He placed his hands behind his head as he kept walking. He remembered the last time she looked like this and he had never wanted to see it again...

"_Hm-m, let's see here." Stuart said as he looked through the papers of some of the investments he had made within in the past week. He hadn't really paid attention to C.C., who was there for Spring Break, and he knew that had made her upset. He had planned on making it up to her today, but she had come down with something and the only person she would let tend to her was D.D., who lived with him._

_She was upstairs taking a shower now, she hadn't had the strength to take one for a couple of days. D.D. had left to go into the city to pick up a prescription for C.C. and would be back later, leaving him, save the servants, alone with C.C. for the rest of the afternoon._

_When he was just about to sign a paper, there was a loud crash from upstairs, from the direction of the bathroom. He dashed upstairs quickly and flung the door open. His face grew pale white when he saw what had happened. C.C. was slumped over the side of the bathtub and blood was everywhere._

"_CALL 911!" He screamed. One of the maids poked her head inside, saw what had happened, and ran quickly to the phone, which was at the end of the hall. Stuart cradled C.C. in his arms like when she was a child. He saw where the blood was coming from and then he had an idea what had happened. C.C. wasn't sick, she had been pregnant. He shook his head slowly, but it was too late to be mad at her now, he felt his eyes grow watery and they stung with tears. His little girl, what had gone wrong with her?

* * *

_

Stuart had never let her know that he had known she was pregnant, but with his actions, he never let her forget. Another mark up on the anger chart. All she had ever wanted to do was make him proud, but with what she had done with herself, anything she did was never enough. He hated himself now for treating her the way he did, he knew he was a factor as well in all of this. He was mentally kicking himself as he rubbed his eyes. She was so pale and so sickly looking, it was every parent's nightmare to see this, he wanted to trade places with her, just like her mother did.

"I love you my little Chastity." B.B. whispered as tears streaked down her face. She wanted to see those fiery blue eyes of her daughter that she had inherited from her. Her own was now faded and weary, just as she was, but she knew that when C.C. would awaken, and she was sure she would, her eyes would be full of the fire, enough for both of them. She hoped that D.D. and Noel would arrive to see it happen, but both siblings couldn't bare to see their sister like this. D.D. had taken it the hardest. When she had heard the news, she had gone into the bedroom of her five year old daughter and just held her close.

"What's wrong mama?" She has asked as she hugged her mother in return.

"Don't ever forget that I love you, okay?" D.D. asked as she kissed her hair.

"I won't, and I love you to." The child's smile had filled her heart with hope. She saw a lot of C.C. in this one, oy.

B.B. closed her eyes and began to think of when C.C. had attempted to impress her, but it had nearly turned out to be a disaster and somehow C.C. was thinking of the exact same thing...

_"Hm-m-m." C.C. thought as she looked through her mother's make-up. She was eight at this time and was exploring the joys of wanting to be like her mother. She grabbed the reddest lipstick she could find and smeared it on her lips. Next she took the white powder and its applier and just began to powder her face. She looked like a ghost, a ghost that had smeared ketchup all over its mouth. She had on blue eyeshadow as well and she had attempted to put on mascara, but after deciding that it hurt, she gave up on it._

_B.B. walked by her bedroom and saw that C.C. was sitting at her vanity. She stifled a laugh as she looked at her. C.C. heard the snort and she turned around quickly. She immediately burst into laughter then._

_"Oh my gosh Chastity, are we going to have to change your name to Casper now?" She asked._

_"...who's that?"_

_"Never mind. Here, let me help you." She picked her up and set her down in her lap once she herself was sitting down. She wiped the make up away with a wet washcloth and when she was sure she had gotten in all off, she began brushing her hair._

"_OW!" C.C. screeched when she got a tangle._

"_Shh, it wasn't that bad, see, look." She held out the small ball of fuzz that had been her hair and her eyes grew wide. She made a whine noise with her mouth and B.B. just rolled her eyes._

"_Oh C.C., you never cease to amaze me, I swear, you need to be an actor." She said as she continued to brush her hair. When she was done, she braided it quickly, then she began on her make up. She put foundation on first, then blush, but not too much, then, after fighting C.C. for about five minutes, she put mascara on her eyelashes and eyeliner on. When C.C. reached for the lipstick, she shook her head. "Nope, you don't need that my dear. Your lips are all ready red enough, don't add to it." She smiled._

"_Thanks mommy." She kissed her mother on the cheek and then she rushed off to show her father, who wasn't too thrilled to see her wearing make up at all. B.B. just sighed and touched her own face gently. She could hear Stuart downstairs telling her to take it all off immediately, which she was sure had made C.C. cry, but she needed to learn sooner or later. She heard her name being yelled from downstairs by him and she rolled her eyes before she stood and left. It was time for another Babcock family "Come to Jesus" meeting...

* * *

_

"Why did you do this C.C., why?" Stuart asked.

"Because she hated her life, I can feel it." She replied.

"How do you know that?" He asked. She looked at him sternly.

"I carried her inside of me for nine months, she came out of my body and I've always had a stronger connection with her than any of the others."

"So much that you beat her up in a drunken rage? Yes, I know about that." He folded his arms over his chest. She narrowed her eyes at him.

"I would kill you if we weren't in a place with resuscitating equipment." She shot back. He couldn't help but laugh a little.

"Oh yes, C.C. has your temper, but you know you couldn't hurt someone for real even if you tried to." He smirked. She rolled her eyes and looked back to her child.

"That may very well be true, but, right now, I am on the edge, do not test me." She growled and he looked at the ground and smiled. He wished C.C. would wake up and see the two of them there for the first time in a long time not fighting. He was sure that she would be delighted.


	6. Dear Agony

_Dear Agony_

_Just let go of me_

_Suffer slowly_

_Is this the way it's gotta be_

_Dear Agony_

**C.C. was now standing in a room she had never seen before. She looked around and saw that there was a doorway that led into the bathroom, she could see that there was make up around the sink, such as mascara, eyeliner, and other things of that nature. She saw a small couch and when she turned around, she saw a large mirror, and she could not believe what she saw. She saw herself in a long white strapless gown with white gloves to match. Her hair was curly now and she looked like a dream. A diamond necklace was around her neck as well as the earrings that went along with it. She recognized it immediately, it had been her mother's. She then looked down at her stomach and saw that she was gaining weight.**

**"Shi-i-t." She said as she rolled her eyes.**

**"Hey, I think you look beautiful." C.C. turned quickly and saw a little girl of maybe seven or so. She had sandy blonde hair with bright blue eyes. She had beautiful skin, much like C.C.'s, she was sitting on the couch with her legs dangling off the sides.**

**"And just who are you?" She asked as she put her hands on her hips.**

**"You'll know me in time, but I can give you a hint." She stood to her feet, she was short, but she looked as if she was going to grow up to be a tall one. She walked over to her slowly and when she was within reach, she placed a hand on C.C.'s stomach. She looked down at the girl's hand and then back to the girl, her mouth was agape and her eyes were wide.**

**"I'm..I'm..." She stuttered.**

**"Yes, you are, not yet though. It won't be for a little while, but I promise, you'll find love in the best way. My daddy loves you, even now. He's waiting for you to wake up, he's holding your hand, he's crying, all for you, but it's all up to you. Do you want to wake up, or do you want to die, and never be able to experience all the love you'll get from my dad, as well as me and another child you'll have after me." She asked.**

**"I'm going to have another?" C.C. asked, still shocked at the fact she was talking to her own daughter, who looked just like her.**

"**Yes, but as I said before, you have a choice to make. Which will it be?" She asked.**

"**You know, for being as young as you are, you have a poetic way of speaking." She replied.**

"**I learned...well, will learn from the best. So what is it going to be mommy?" She asked as she took a step back and looked up at her. **

"**I really do have a future after all, if there is any way you can, please wake me up." She said. The little girl nodded and she took her hand. She ran her thumb over the top of her hand slowly. As C.C. watched, the room began to fade into dark and a new light was shining in...

* * *

**

Niles was rubbing her hand gently with his thumb. He then saw a flutter of her eyelashes and he thought he was dreaming, but when it happened again, he leaned in closer and called out her name.

"Miss Babcock...can you hear me?" He asked. He then saw her eyes start to open slowly and his own grew wide. When they were fully opened, she squinted.

"L-light." She said slowly. He shielded her eyes with his hand and he felt as if he was going to cry.

"Oh my God, how I've missed you." He said. C.C. slowly averted her eyes and saw that he was clutching her hand. Then the memory of talking to her future daughter came into view. She looked back at Niles and then smiled slowly. She knew who she was talking about now.

"I missed you to." She said quietly. He kissed her forehead and smiled back at her. This wasn't the end, it was a new beginning.

* * *

**OMG SHE ACTUALLY HAS FINISHED ONE! Go me. I know the ending was kind of rushed, I was going to have something happen with Sara and the whole car wreck, but thought other wise. I will be posting something else I am sure soon, I'm working on the other one right now, it's hard making C.C. a slut, but y'know, I can do it! You all know I love my tragedy! Adios guys!**


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